Do it again 4 a DL boy?

And so where does this lead us? Not to our happily ever after, not down any aisle in any distant future. We wouldn’t have our little dream life, no building our future. I can’t say I don’t think about it, I can’t say it doesn’t make me sad every time I think of what we could’ve had.

So nothing, that’s all that’s left of us. A tattoo in red ink on my thigh, the memories you implanted in my head, and the pictures scattered throughout my Instagram highlights. Times that we spent happily together.

You know that’s the worst part, right? You never save the shitty memories, you don’t take pictures when you’re crying after the hurtful things he did. So every time you look back, all you end up seeing is all the good times. And seeing every special experience we shared together only makes it that much harder to let go.

So whenever I’m not high enough, whenever I slip into a state where I find myself alone in my sober mind, you’re just always there to haunt me, reminding me I’m not good enough for anyone else and you’re the only person for me. I can’t say I entirely believe that voice anymore, I was good enough to leave, maybe I’ll be good enough to find someone better.

It’s like I clung onto you because I thought we were both not good enough for anyone else but each other. And I must say now what a fucked up thing for me to believe. And when you hurt me, I told myself it wasn’t bad enough to go. Yet you became not good enough to stay.

So truly this is goodbye, no second guessing, no more hoping for a different outcome, no more of a world where I change my last name. And I wonder if I’d do it all again? If given one more chance, would you really do all that again for a DL boy?