The life of Gia

In part, she hated him for who he was on first acquaintance, yet loved him for how he saw her. Every word uttered from his lips seemed in want to insult her existence. Like nothing he could say would please her, yet she wanted his presence. Was his intent to make her feel so small? She didn’t think those thoughts really would cross his mind, and yet here they were. She didn’t think she could love someone of such opinions. How could she share her bed with someone who thought so seemly little of her, and yet still she wanted him more than anything?

She’d sit on her bed waiting for his text, wanting to watch as her phone lit up and seconds later his name appeared with a notification from Snapchat. She’d want his attention over anyone else, craved his good opinion of her, so much so that she slowly started to act more proper so he’d see her in a better light. She’d want him to forgive her past indiscretions and failures of propriety. She wanted him to be the one that thought of her as better than any other. Why was that when she was determined for so very long to despise any man that existed in such a way, now she’d actually thought of marriage and spending an eternity with this man?

If you were to ask an eighteen-year-old Gia, could the love of her life be anything but a well-educated, cultured, and city-adapted man plus ally of the trans community? She’d believe that this kind of man was the only option for her future husband. A man who knew nothing of her experiences or way of life could definitely never be an option. How could she see it any other way? For a young adult, headstrong and set in her way of being seen as she was, was the most important validation and all she wanted in a man.

Yet as her journey into womanhood took place, much of the men who at that time could easily attract her soon came to believe shared little to none of her ideal beliefs. They shared in wanting her for her body and how she looked, but never in wanting her for her mind. Much of this was disheartening, but it only forced her to take more opportunities for a diversity in her choices.

Eventually, men of all calibers entered her life, and some showed interest enough to date for some period of time or treat her with such kindness that she felt obliged to them. She’d start to experience the goodness of men yet still left most all of those experiences feeling a void inside that wasn’t satisfied with the golden retriever-like men gawking over her.

It wasn’t until him, a conflicting feeling throughout much of the beginning and also still a feeling of something more aroused within her. For he didn’t gawk like the rest, he wouldn’t feed her ego for the sake of her vanity just to make her want him more. Everything within his consonance was a continual truth of what he thought. He’d say only the thoughts he’d feel, never hiding his true, unfiltered thoughts. At first, she hated him for this; she wanted to be validated in a way that he could not give her at their time of acquaintance.

As time persisted and his love of her grew, his convictions of her beauty and tempter were often said daily. He’d come to be obsessed with how she carried herself and her abilities to please him. He’d boast of all the things she once begged him in her mind to say. Months of wanting these words of his paid off, for once her patience paid off. Few times were her patience so afforded to a man. Maybe she’d be able to give him a few months, but this was now more than just a few. This became a solid year of only wanting him each and every day.

So hatred of early thoughts turned into the most ardent love of each other. No one could’ve suspected them to become such lovers, but time spent together and time to learn each other was the true matchmaker in the end. He’d grow to want to understand her for who she was, support her for all her ideals and beliefs even when he couldn’t fully understand them. Although at times that existed on two separate planes in the world, they found a way to merge, finding common interests. Two unlikely people finding love in a world built much against both. For though they were from the outside nothing alike, their tempers and situations were alarmingly similar and perhaps is what drew them to each other so intensely.

How such alike situations could bring together two opposing worlds is a beauty within itself. Her love for him unwavering and his devotion for her constant and never-ending. Truly they’d become a perfect fit for one another.